Sunday, 21 October 2012

The Great Indian Exam Show

So in that TV series, hero comes to write the paper, answers like a cool fool dude, eyes flirt with the heroine and it’s bell time :)

So we also have quite a few 'exams' for any average student in India. The 'Agnee Parikshas' in true sense.

But the ordeal begins much before the anxiety hits. Finding the exam center is no less than a treasure hunt. It is also a typical rich bitch’s only shot at ‘Discovery of India’. 230 bylanes and Rs 350 ride later, the ‘Eureka’ moment comes and so does the pressure seeing fellow intellectual minds’ last minute Nirma soap like consistent behavior. 

God forbid, if that pressure is transmitted to your bladder, you will definitely have to see hell even before the exam commences. Unless of course, you are the Man who decides to take up the responsibility of watering plants with your own sweat and pee.

 Before entering the exam hall, we get the practice of a lifetime to stand in a queue for reasons unknown even to the guard at the gate. Interestingly, we as Indians do not replicate similar behavior at any counter that we ever encounter.

After so many break points we are expected to break down every question. And we do it! Sometimes by magically increasing the elasticity of that single line that lingers on in head, sometimes by excelling at ‘inky-pinky-ponky’ in MCQs and sometimes even by STUDYING. :D  

Weirdly, a song plays in my head for each emotion that I go through as I set out to exchange my ink for marks..

Leaving the house confidently after forcing everybody to wish me luck: “Sandese aate hain……”

On the way to center looking outside the window: “I am leaving on a jet plane, don’t know when...”
Waiting period before you can open the paper on your desk: “Tempted to touch..”

Gambling in MCQ: “Aazmaa Luck Aazmaa…”

In the middle of nowhere: “Wake up Sid!”

Just before paper submission: “Aaj main upar, Aasmaa neeche…”

Just after paper submission:” ula la la la le yo… ula la la la le yo”  

Overhearing my mistake from *lets-discuss-answers* troupe: “Kuch toh log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kehna…”

After seeing a happy friend: “Acha sila dia tune mere pyaar ka, yaar ne hi loot lia ghar yaar ka…..”

After looking at the solutions: “Kya se kya ho gaya…”

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