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Sunday 25 November 2012

Chappal Chor!


Recently a special friend who is always high on morals and always forces me to distinguish between right and wrong like that Sunday serial on DD1,” Yeshu Dayasagar” lost his expensive shoes. Funny!


Suddenly the price of his shoes went upto 2600 from the 500 that he had told me. Modesty & lies are like Inzamam-Ul-Haq and English. They can never be compatible. Hopefully he has finally learnt that he shouldn’t lie to me.  God has his ways to make anyone spill truth. :D

Now dirty, hot ground sent a shockwave to his head and ‘need’ slamchoked ‘Mr. Goodie two shoes’. He had a decision to make. An action to perform. He had to fend for himself. He had to steal. From an infinite array of shoes. This is what I call ‘Shoercle of Life’ ;)






He chose 2 chappals. Formed a pair. Pair was like Rakhi Sawant and Anna Hazare. Totally different. :D
He has been justifying it all with the fact that he chose dirty ones in exchange of his expensive one. :D



Every molecule of my body is laughing that someone stole his shoes and I have been bombarding him with songs like “Chorni baaga maa bole..” and will  be teasing him to watch movies like “Chori Chori Chupke”  for a lifetime. Tattoos of “Mera friend chor hai” have also been discussed.
But I wish he had stolen a really good one. Atleast we could be sure that he did not leave a poor man with naked feet.  

It’s funny yet sad that religious places have been turned into red light area for shoe lifting. God help me if I ever wear a pretty shoe to temple!


P.S: Dear Shoe lifters, Booze and shoes are all that a man needs. Giving up either hurts. ;)

Monday 19 November 2012

Make DreamsWork !


Dreams do come true if a chap gets placed in a dude company like DreamWorks.
So what if they undergo a few funny tweaks to settle in the dudeness ;)

Step 1: Refer to the fb pics of seniors, analyze their attire and chop off all the pants to knee length.  

 Step 2: If you are unfortunately named something like ‘Teerthankar’ brace yourself up to be called ‘Tatti’ as a part of ‘disfigure-any-name’ tradition.

Step 2.5: Compare it against colleges nicks like Golu, Badboo, Ghissu and cry.

Step 3: Learn to distinguish between male and female colleagues. Men will always have longer hair and prettier earrings.

Step 4: Get rid of the weird Indian accent. Religiously watch video lectures of F.R.I.E.N.D.S . to overcome this handicap.

Step 5: Wear GAP sweatshirt no matter how hot the weather is. Don’t wear full pants no matter how cold the weather is.

Step 6: Wear only bathroom slippers to work.

Step 7: Get ears pierced. Right after lower lip piercing.

Step 8: Buy fake boom boom boomer tattoos for biceps incase still numb with the pain of piercing.


Btw, all this this is just my guess about the guys who work  9 floors above me. Reality may be even more interesting. ;)




I got a contagious disease!!



Ok, So I am in solitary confinement. My roommate shifted to the hall. Now I know how mean  untouchability was. I have utensils assigned which I keep outside like a pet whenever I am hungry.

Nobody shares chocolates with me anymore. I have been forced to take leaves way out of my league.

Is it that bad? May be, it’s not!




Woohoo! I have the master bedroom with the biggest attached bathroom all to myself. Even my hair on the floor is happy. No competition with my roommate’s after all. I am over the moon thanks to sheer impossibility  of “Hi Hello..Ya Right! Bimbo” bitching all night and waking up crow eyed for work. I can instead polish other innate yet ignored talents. Training my flatmates for motherhood is one of them. ;D

I am being served breakfast, lunch, dinner in bed for free because “Babe, I pay by cash only these days. I swear I won’t wipe my viral nose with the note”  is a good generosity magnet. :D

I have never had ownership over any plate or glass and suddenly I am entitled to everything of my own. Divine bliss I need not swim in the sink anymore before dinner for a tiny spoon.

Thank god I had a bite of every pack of chocolate in the house just before I was officially a weapon of mass beauty destruction . Now they are all mine. Self Hi-five!

And dear boss, for the 1st time, I would like to come to office. Before time. Work overtime. Call just once and I will hug you, share my donut, laugh at your jokes really hard and wipe off the unintentional spit and leave the intentional virus behind on you. Just one call. Just one……  

Life is not exactly a bed of roses these days. It’s a bed of Neem leaves and Neem is good, soothing, calming. 

I am even rising above materialistic stuffs. Thanks to chicken pox, I already hate the idea of consuming any chicken dish. God forbid but if I ever get FISHer / EGGzema,  PETA you know who to lookout for. ;)

Even my craze for the “perfect pattern for frivolous people”, polka dots is gone. Because I look like one already. L


@Friends who silently suffer with me even without chicken pox:  What earlier was a tantrum is now my Right sweetheart. I will scream and whine because I have been asked not to have fine wine & dine. FYI, I still don’t think fruits, sprouts, juices are edible.   I genuinely pray for thy mental strength till I win the fight against the eunuchs of living-non living world, Virus.