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Wednesday 31 December 2014

Why did you make PK after PK so much

Since I am writing this on an empty stomach, the best analogy for PK crossing my thoughts right now is that of a chef putting Rajma masala, chhole masala, chaat masala, meat masala, chicken masala, blah blah masala, all at once in a dish just because he did not want to leave out any flavor and in the process ruining what could have been potentially a cult dish.

PK’s core idea is to  highlight a very common Indian disease, Voluntary Religious exploitation of people, by people and how ironic it is, irrespective of a particular religion. The movie deals with religious hypocrisy very logically and in a simple manner. Having said that, such a strong message in the movie got a bit diluted by many other ridiculous nonsense within the movie itself. And now I have so many points to crib about!

1.      If cricket can go down from 60 overs to 50 overs to 20 overs with changing times, why can’t the length of a typical big banner movie in Bollywood as well?  It was unnecessarily stretched by stupid things like Alien-Girl sequence etc. I donno if it is theater specific but I am sure that planets must have changed their position to cause major astrological influences and in the meanwhile entire janta must have got educated on ‘Aamsutra’ and ‘Choc-On’ by Katrina Kaif in those 30 minutes of interval advertisement.

2.       Why would they keep zooming on Anushka’s ugly lips? Also, just because Sushant is married, not conventionally good looking and not a star kid, they made him chew on so much plastic. Awwwwwwwww…


3.       What are the odds that a Bhojpuri speaking prostitute is working in a small area of Rajasthan just so that the hero could have that dialect #TooFake.
Also why wouldn’t he get his language updated when he falls for over enthusiastic Jaggu-The Maggu. After all, she would have held his hands more easily and he would have had a better shot at impressing her.

4.       Jaggu and Sarfaraaz(Sarfu here on) bonded over poetry and literature and it was shown umpteen times where one of them is sitting and the other one is lying in the lap at a perfect angle to sniff the other’s armpits, reading  books/notebooks. Sarfu himself was a writer by hobby so I am pretty sure atleast some of those notebooks had his handwriting in it.   Then How the hell can neither of them recognize handwriting or call to inquire/please/abuse. What is the probability of being super dumb? Hmmmm…. 1.

5.        Are we sure call was made to Pakistani Embassy? Because it surely looked like Love Guru’s hotline number. Dramatic boundaries were crossed as all the Pakistanis started reacting as if it was announced that Gosht will be served more in quantity than the usual.

6.       I am all for men nudity (Finally!!!!) but why didn’t they show Ranbir’s goodies instead of a man who is the father of three in real life. #TooBad

PK is an Okay one time watch. See it for the strong, logical questions it raises, funny sequences in the first half and Ranbir Kapur in the end.
Anyway, I left theater with a very profound doubt. Did Sarfu have a job in Pakistan? Did he not? Was he so vella he kept calling everyday? Or was he damn rich? Was he working from home at the time of call? Are the companies there that cool?? Kya Aapke Toothpaste me Namak hai??Blah!

Monday 6 January 2014

My New Year resolutions



Lazy bum kam:


This year I intend to free myself from laziness thanks to some serious inspiration by the word going around that 2014 has same calendar as 1947, India’s year of freedom. (Too lazy and non excited to verify this.)



Run, run, run………


Not towards food but a healthy lifestyle. I have already dropped to samosa from samosa chaat. Plan is to convert it into popcorn(only) soon. Because deep down I know that there are more ways to looking hot than high fever.
Remember ladies!
 "Once on lips, forever on hips"

Early to bed,

early to rise

On Weekdays

Is wise….


It’s not a matter of shame  if you want to hit the sack early so that you can wake up minus the zombie look,have a peaceful breakfast and plan your day. Life has much more meaning to it than just shoes and booze(except on weekends)

Work is worship:


Okay Fine! Atleast  important.

Now that I am into my first job after many sleepless nights(nay! Wasn’t studying.. just panicking), I am going to put in 100% into it to actually judge the nature of work instead of going by the conjectures.

               

Reduce prattling my opinion on well…just about everything:


Keeping quiet about irrelevant things can be a serenade to the mind. If you can’t subside the urge to insinuate on seeing someone being point blank wrong, Barfi them out.

Unfortunately, the quieter ones unfailingly look really intellectual even if all they may be doing is focusing on the nostril hair of oppositely seated person in between their pauses of an eternity.

Also, humorlexic  people are not worthy of jokes and sarcasm. Don’t let them fart on your happy mood by their dissection of each and every statement. Let them be (poopy).


Read and write and read:


Just realized for the 2014th time that if I cut down on reading nonsense fb stuffs and writing comments on all the pouting pics of others  while being Jealous inside, I can actually read lot many good stuffs and polish my writing skills. Some of the sentences I have written here have been fitted around the words I learnt from watching Koffee With Karan Season 4. That is the level of my exposure to a language that I once loved to master. This has to change. Yes!


Understand the true meaning of love:


True love is supposed to make you feel the same way a good loud sneeze does. Free and happily silly.

Anything else is blah!


Speak up


Speak up for things you strongly care about. For me, next time I see a friend throwing wrapper on streets, I am throwing him as well.

Pick up

Go back and complete those unfinished comic strips on photoshop, half written articles, some artwork left midway and those weird ideas that died with the course of time, juggle them up and make something crazy. This time for myself. :)

Get atleast one of these off my bucket list:

1.       Learn some western dance.

2.       Learn swimming.

3.       Join theatre.





2014 has already started on a good note. I was very upset to see all my boy crushes turn into uncles as the years passed by, but I finally have a new young crush, Arjun Kapoor. Weeeeeee!



Cheers and have a good year ahead you all.



How can I end without an Aloknath joke? 
“How does Aloknath’s dog bark?
  Bow-ji, Bow-ji”