No figure is perfect figure

Okay there is a girl who can immediately see every pizza piece I eat on my tummy /shoulders / face and  sometimes on my fingers also. I tell you she is just crazy. First she forces me to go to gym at odd hours as I keep repeating the following lines in my head while huffing on the treadmill-

“You're on the frontline

Everyone's watching

You know it's serious

We're getting closer

This isnt over

The pressure is on

You feel it

But you've got it all

Believe it…..”.

 Then I crawl back like a proud soldier who has just conquered her Tiger Tummy hill and this mean girl convinces me that I should be rewarded with pizza, chocolates and sometimes Soft drink also as my victory drink which apparently has calories equivalent to 7 spoons of sugar. Even as I open my mouth to say N..she interrupts me saying…”You look anorexic! Do you want to look like Kareena Kapoor!” and I am like “Yuck! Hell no! Who wants to look like her.. “  

Yeah! Right! . Just 2 burps later she pops up in front of me reminding how life and my face goes on in a circle. :\

But there is one thing we agree on. There are only 2 kinds of girls in this world- Paper/Papad, Elephat.

Being a fan of the TV Series ‘2 Broke girls’, girls are either Carolined or Maxed in the virtual list. ;)

Paper Wafer girls are disgusting. Infact, we think they are non-males but not females. Their collar bone is like 2 swords hanging on a wall.  They don’t even have a belly for belly dancing. Yuck Thoo!

Now elephats are so fat that a sofa can sit on them. If they hug us, we won’t even need a bubble wrap.  Oh Man! They look eternally pregnant. Yuck thoo!

I, ofcourse, am different. I keep swaying back andf forth between  NOTA(None of the above) and  BOTA(Both of the Above). This is obviously decided by this crazy girl I have been talking about all along who is right now grinning back at me from the mirror. All I want to sing to her is:

“I hate you like I love you..love you..love you..love you… aaooouuu!”  

P.S: I recently managed to get my favorite answer for my “Am I looking thin or fat?” question.

Me: “Am I looking thin or fat in that pic?”

Friend:  I haven’t even seen it but I am sure very thin.

Me: Hatt!! Very funny <Weeeeee….Weeeee>

Me: Did you see the pic now?

Friend<After a long pause>: OMG! You are so thin that it took me a while to find you!

Me: Liar!(Read yes!) Kutta! (Read yes!) …. Be honest naa(Read No No No!)