Saturday, 19 May 2012

Worst shit

My mindboggling attempt at writing crap.

Akash, a 5 pointer at BYTES college was in severe depression. He had been prohibited from sitting for placements till now. His understanding neighbor and buddy of 4 years, Sameer, a 9.89 pointer, tried to console “ what man! Being ‘CGist’ is the new ‘sexist’ for companies nowadays. You deserve a good placement. So what if you don’t mug well in your electrical stream, you are the Elvis Presley of campus.”      

A few days later, Akash was bursting with joy after cracking the 1st company he sat for, Infosys. His neighbor Sameer took charge of unleashing incessant congratulatory bumps and proudly reminded Akash of his well deserved treat at a posh 3 star hotel for this feat, for which Akash readily agreed while he was still numb with both joy and pain in the butt.
Later in the evening, sitting on a cushion in Sanjay’s room, Akash cribbed: “Dude,I am going in a bus company with salary at par with a conductor’s and .. “ as Sameer interrupted him and gave a virtual ppt on how good Infosys was for a starter and how even he would have sat for it had he not planned to chillax for an year in Microsoft, which he claimed to have got  into by fluke.

Next day, Akash woke up to a noisy afternoon with severe hangover. Curiously, he peeped out to find pink faced Sameer breaking his chair like a bull  and ranting “ What was the point of working my ass off, not dating, buttering professors if I get overlooked for that noob, Raman with a lower cgpa even though I am the most tech savvy person around”. Soon he and chair both broke down as he fumbled ” Stanford was my dream!”.
In the meanwhile,  Raman announced “Sambhar and intelligence run in my blood re. Though I feel sorry for that ghissu re.”

In dilemma if he should  feel bad about his bestfriend never even letting him sniff his MS plans  or his rejection that followed, Akash couldn’t handle the brain teaser and decided to go back to sleep.

P.S.: While still recovering from their respective shocks, CAT results were announced today. Akash got a call from the inferior  siblings of IIMs, the new IIMs. In the next room, Sameer has been prattling away to glory about his managerial bent of mind since childhood and how his dreams have come true on KabTak, Sabse Haze channel, thanks to his cent percentile.

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