Why do I want a dog!

I will soon be moving to the silicon valley and am pretty psyched about the experiences in store. Be it my quest to find that perfect abode or wanting to enroll myself for guitar lessons, salsa classes or the hidden butterfly in me planning to shine in the nightlife of the city, mind is glittering with excitement. But, most of all, I am riveted to the idea of getting a little dog.

I am no Paris Hilton desperate for a lap candy. So, I don’t want my ‘StudMax’ to be a shallow boy toy. Yeah right.. I named him that. His existence will have a deeper purpose in my life.

To begin with, I know he will take me for a walk daily thanks to his nature calls and my nature to stay in a hygienic house. I already see myself turning into a bundle of 50 pages from the current 100.

I will not have to push myself beyond the point where even Chicken Chilly starts to get on the nerves just because I don’t have the heart to waste it. I know there will be a man right next to me salivating for the chicken more than I ever do. So, overeating gets off the chart as well.

This sourpuss world must be wondering if my weight is all I worry about. It couldn’t be more wrong because I care about peace of mind too!

After a daylong bickering with computer, all I would want is a quiet evening with an understanding person, X and talk about trivial things, go for a walk, talk, eat panipuri and talk. Even before this hypothetical X comes to life, I know X will talk back, preach me. Somehow I will simply be shut up. Hopefully with an icecream. ;)

But, once I finish it off I will be reminded of how I just wanted someone to listen to my cribbing without being judgemental. ‘StudMax’ is the answer to this need of mine.    

Besides, I will be thrilled to improvise on my ‘Sad puppy face’, ‘Curious puppy eyes’ and ‘Innocent puppy look’ weapons under the master himself.  

Before anyone brands me sexist for overlooking a bitch for the aforesaid privileges, I hereby reveal that it is because I won’t let anyone replace the lovely bitches in my life. :D

             3 cheers to my powerpuff girls and my dog-of-the-hour, my ‘StudMax’! :D     

Arz Kia Hai...(2)

Sabhi darwaaze hain band dekhoSabhi raastey hain tang dekhoPar raahi ke hausley ke saamneSabhi uske saathi hain dang dekho
 Hawaa ko kaun door rok paaya haiPaani ko kaun floor rok paaya haiBas isi ummeed me ki manzil milegiAaj sab log hain uske sang dekho
 Na chaal dekho, na dhaal dekhoNa hi uska kya hai haal dekhoKya paana hai usko bhi kya pataPar sirf uske jeeney ka dhang dekho
 Dil me lekar armaan kayiDene ko hain farmaan kayiChoomne ko khula aasaman koiUdi hai aaj ye patang dekho

Arz Kia Hai... (1)

Har chehre ke peechey ek aur chehra hai
Har muskuraahat pe shikan ka pehra hai
Upar se to lagti hai ye sirf ek kharonch
Par asal me ye zakhm utna hi gehra hai

Kehte hain samay ko koi bhi rok na paaya
Par haqueekat me waqt yahin pe thehra hai
Yun to sunne waale hain kayi yahan pe
Par gaur se dekho to har koi behra hai

Not the Right way. Not the wrong way. It’s the Indian way

1.       I want my kid to be independent

 Except handling trivial things like social behavior, career and choice of life partner, an average Indian parent has always pushed for independent thinking among kids.

2.       I am painting the town red

Implies I am a paan lover and every corner of the staircase is my basin.

3.       Our rivers are magical

Not just because of religious reasons, we believe that even the garbage that is dumped in vanishes miraculously.

4.       Growth in GDP hurts

Because GDP stands for Gas, Diesel and Petrol

  

5.       Government is sports friendly

Money shower follows success. Vice versa may not be true.

6.       We care about ‘Balika Vadhu’

Those 30 minutes of daily attention may be greater than what many Balikas and Vadhus will ever get.

7.       Our Education system is rich

Students pay well to be given an opportunity to mug well even in not-so-well institutions.

8.       Production rate is very high

Yeah, we are talking about babies here.

9.       As You Like It

All the world's a loo,
And all the men and women merely roadside poopers:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time will pee at many parts…..

Worst shit

My mindboggling attempt at writing crap.

Akash, a 5 pointer at BYTES college was in severe depression. He had been prohibited from sitting for placements till now. His understanding neighbor and buddy of 4 years, Sameer, a 9.89 pointer, tried to console “ what man! Being ‘CGist’ is the new ‘sexist’ for companies nowadays. You deserve a good placement. So what if you don’t mug well in your electrical stream, you are the Elvis Presley of campus.”      

A few days later, Akash was bursting with joy after cracking the 1^st company he sat for, Infosys. His neighbor Sameer took charge of unleashing incessant congratulatory bumps and proudly reminded Akash of his well deserved treat at a posh 3 star hotel for this feat, for which Akash readily agreed while he was still numb with both joy and pain in the butt.

Later in the evening, sitting on a cushion in Sanjay’s room, Akash cribbed: “Dude,I am going in a bus company with salary at par with a conductor’s and .. “ as Sameer interrupted him and gave a virtual ppt on how good Infosys was for a starter and how even he would have sat for it had he not planned to chillax for an year in Microsoft, which he claimed to have got  into by fluke.

Next day, Akash woke up to a noisy afternoon with severe hangover. Curiously, he peeped out to find pink faced Sameer breaking his chair like a bull  and ranting “ What was the point of working my ass off, not dating, buttering professors if I get overlooked for that noob, Raman with a lower cgpa even though I am the most tech savvy person around”. Soon he and chair both broke down as he fumbled ” Stanford was my dream!”.

In the meanwhile,  Raman announced “Sambhar and intelligence run in my blood re. Though I feel sorry for that ghissu re.”

In dilemma if he should  feel bad about his bestfriend never even letting him sniff his MS plans  or his rejection that followed, Akash couldn’t handle the brain teaser and decided to go back to sleep.

P.S.: While still recovering from their respective shocks, CAT results were announced today. Akash got a call from the inferior  siblings of IIMs, the new IIMs. In the next room, Sameer has been prattling away to glory about his managerial bent of mind since childhood and how his dreams have come true on KabTak, Sabse Haze channel, thanks to his cent percentile.

Us and Rights

We Indians have always succeeded in exerting our rights.
Be it with the British or in the overcrowded train where
a bully is spread on our reserved seat treating it like his
ancestral property or a family with kids which actually needs to sit.

We fight. Even if we may not be Right.  

P.S: Pardon the small font. :)

The Big Bang Theory: Not some shit

5 seasons down the line, I am sheldstruck man. period.

BBT has been my antidote to boredom and any spark of depressing boy voyage.

This post is about my mental perception of a sensory stimulus,The didactic BBT.

Trying to learn ‘Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock’ while Sheldon is motor mouthing the rules or watching him fold  clothes are all too funny to tolerate at times.   

Times when Penny gets the better of Sheldon are worth preserving in the memory forever. That episode when Penny said ‘oh! I see’(pronounced OIC) after she was sheldonightened with the full form of AFK and then he asking the full form of OIC. Twice. Epic! A nice reminder that nothing is invincible ;)

Thank you Dr. Raj Koothrappali for supporting my claim that catching an American accent is not a compulsory disease. It’s just an option compulsorily chosen by NRIs living anywhere on the globe to sound hip and cool. How else could the mystery behind the theory of Indians catching an accent *forever* in a 6 month trip while foreigners sticking with their twisted tongue even after a decade in the subcontinent be explained. 

Hey Howard! You are the true Indian man. Not Raj. Still henpecked under mommy’s thumb and walking the tight rope between her love and girlfriend’s is the status of majority of Indian men and you, ofcourse.

I am glad Penny is not a typical pretty bimbo standing like a mannequin to laugh at male leads jokes. She has managed to hold her own happy go lucky self  against a gang of extraordinary nerds. ‘Funny girl’ is not an oxymoron anymore. Penny, you are worth every penny that you extract from the show.

Leonard is the last ray of hope for an average man to frogleap from ‘single’  to ‘in a relationship’ category for real. But on those dark, lonely nights when I think of a hot and happening chick “actually” dating a caring, loving and a boring nerd  like him, I realize it’s a fiction afterall.   :|

  

 The post was supposed to declare my love for Sheldon but I still haven’t mentioned him enough. So here go my closing thoughts. The fluidity in his body language and dialogues is bombastic. His love for meemo, kitty song, science, discipline in food consumption are all innocently funny. So eccentric, yet he managed to score a girlfriend and then came up with a counter proposal for sex!. God _/\_(can’t resist, even though he seems to be an atheist)

He has his fun and never compromises with it. That’s the way to live. We meet many poopers, but rarely a Cooper. \m/ 

And Yes. That booming laughter of ours does start with The Big Bang. :)