Besharam piece by piece

Okay I confess I was besharam and jobless enough to spend money on watching this utterly nonsense movie, but even RK is to be blamed  for making me go against all reviews and trust his choice.

The movie was seriously an assault on sensibilities but certain scenes/songs/characters steal the show.

1.    Meet Ch*ndel, the constipated criminal(Javed Jaffery) who is lame ass enough to focus on the car needed for the crime more than the crime itself.

2.    Meet Babli(Ranbir Kapoor), an expert in car stealing who needs to make sure his balls are at place every 10 mins. Naachun?  

3.    Meet the childless police force, Mr. & Mrs. Chautala ( Rishi and Neetu Kapoor) who have  literally been given poop scenes to create humor but the jokes stink. Not their fault at all.

4.    Meet Tara, Babli’s love interest and the woman who is PMSing throughout the movie.

5.    Tara, the dumbum lives in a modest area but spends all her savings on a BMW. Intelligent decision making considering she is the manager of some company.

6.    Babli, the besharam meets her at a wedding and even in her cranky mood, she starts gyrating like some ‘Maata’ decided to enter her body.

7.    Tara’s mom meets Babli and gets the divine idea that a loafer mechanic is the ideal guy for her daughter because all her daughter is expecting from her future partner is class. Duh!

8.    Ch**** gives money to Babli to get him a car and he obliges.

By stealing his dream girl’s car.

From her official parking.

When he had seen her arrive in it for the 1^st time.

Dumbness_/\ _

9.    Somewhere in between, we are expected to go all oooh-aah as a result of RK’s butt cleavage in our face for a good 30 sec. Yuck!

10.  The bunch of disgusting attempts to evoke laughter does get a breakthrough in a scene thanks to T2’s(Babli’s buddy) reaction to desperate attempt to create laughter by making him bear the brunt of Babli’s morning wood. Thooo but funny!

11.  Anyway, Babli realizes his mistake and promises to get the car back for Tara, the woman with the longest history of frown.

12. While Tara is in dilemma whether to go or not, her mom is all gung ho about Babli, her dream son in law. So what if he is a typical delhi boy, so what if he keeps eve teasing her daughter. She knows he is the one and Tara should totally tag along with him to get her car back. Wow !

13. They go and the 1^st thing they see in Chandigarh is her car. Whatta coincidence!

14.  She finds out that he was the one who stole her car in the 1^st place and gets pissed off. He enlightens her about him being an orphan and how he gives it all to an orphanage and the inevitable happens.

15. Loou bug hits her and no amount of chicken, ice cream or coffee is enough to win his heart back. Damn it!

16.  He gets beaten badly but one strike on the wind shield of his Tara’s car and he has his “This is spartaa…” moment. Through his gravity defying smartness, he is able to get the car back somehow while it’s coming back from servicing and she gives him a peck. 2 actually. Deep girl, we must notice here.

17.  The great criminal, chu**** had actually sent the car for servicing with crores of money in it. BEST CRIMINAL EVER! Muaah muaah!

18. Bharat Maata, Tara gives the money bag to the corrupt police couple.Then comes the ultimate proposal dialogue by her.
   "Abhi tak toh main sharma hi rahi thi, mujhe bhi besharam bana de..." or something like that. 
       Btw, her surname is Sharma. That's all. :|

19. In true Bollywood style chu kidnaps all the anaath ashram kids and after lot many blah blah scenes, Hero wins and villain loses.

                   Actually this part was so long and boring to watch that I don’t feel like describing it only.

20. A few PJs later, the childless cop couple decides to adopt Babli. Awwwwwwww… :\

21. It’s not over yet. Throughout the movie you are tortured by pathetic songs but the ending credits take it to the all new level where everyone is seen shaking to the tunes of something like “Hand utha ke naache….”  which sounded like “Pant utha ke naache..” to me in the theatre making it all the more unbearable.

P.S.: Neetu Kapoor is a very good actress and I would love to see her on screen again, but in a sensible movie next time. She played the role of a corrupt Jat cop to utmost perfection and was very convincing in the otherwise irritating battle scene. :)