Worst shit

My mindboggling attempt at writing crap.

Akash, a 5 pointer at BYTES college was in severe depression. He had been prohibited from sitting for placements till now. His understanding neighbor and buddy of 4 years, Sameer, a 9.89 pointer, tried to console “ what man! Being ‘CGist’ is the new ‘sexist’ for companies nowadays. You deserve a good placement. So what if you don’t mug well in your electrical stream, you are the Elvis Presley of campus.”      

A few days later, Akash was bursting with joy after cracking the 1^st company he sat for, Infosys. His neighbor Sameer took charge of unleashing incessant congratulatory bumps and proudly reminded Akash of his well deserved treat at a posh 3 star hotel for this feat, for which Akash readily agreed while he was still numb with both joy and pain in the butt.

Later in the evening, sitting on a cushion in Sanjay’s room, Akash cribbed: “Dude,I am going in a bus company with salary at par with a conductor’s and .. “ as Sameer interrupted him and gave a virtual ppt on how good Infosys was for a starter and how even he would have sat for it had he not planned to chillax for an year in Microsoft, which he claimed to have got  into by fluke.

Next day, Akash woke up to a noisy afternoon with severe hangover. Curiously, he peeped out to find pink faced Sameer breaking his chair like a bull  and ranting “ What was the point of working my ass off, not dating, buttering professors if I get overlooked for that noob, Raman with a lower cgpa even though I am the most tech savvy person around”. Soon he and chair both broke down as he fumbled ” Stanford was my dream!”.

In the meanwhile,  Raman announced “Sambhar and intelligence run in my blood re. Though I feel sorry for that ghissu re.”

In dilemma if he should  feel bad about his bestfriend never even letting him sniff his MS plans  or his rejection that followed, Akash couldn’t handle the brain teaser and decided to go back to sleep.

P.S.: While still recovering from their respective shocks, CAT results were announced today. Akash got a call from the inferior  siblings of IIMs, the new IIMs. In the next room, Sameer has been prattling away to glory about his managerial bent of mind since childhood and how his dreams have come true on KabTak, Sabse Haze channel, thanks to his cent percentile.

Us and Rights

We Indians have always succeeded in exerting our rights.
Be it with the British or in the overcrowded train where
a bully is spread on our reserved seat treating it like his
ancestral property or a family with kids which actually needs to sit.

We fight. Even if we may not be Right.  

P.S: Pardon the small font. :)

The Big Bang Theory: Not some shit

5 seasons down the line, I am sheldstruck man. period.

BBT has been my antidote to boredom and any spark of depressing boy voyage.

This post is about my mental perception of a sensory stimulus,The didactic BBT.

Trying to learn ‘Rock-paper-scissors-lizard-Spock’ while Sheldon is motor mouthing the rules or watching him fold  clothes are all too funny to tolerate at times.   

Times when Penny gets the better of Sheldon are worth preserving in the memory forever. That episode when Penny said ‘oh! I see’(pronounced OIC) after she was sheldonightened with the full form of AFK and then he asking the full form of OIC. Twice. Epic! A nice reminder that nothing is invincible ;)

Thank you Dr. Raj Koothrappali for supporting my claim that catching an American accent is not a compulsory disease. It’s just an option compulsorily chosen by NRIs living anywhere on the globe to sound hip and cool. How else could the mystery behind the theory of Indians catching an accent *forever* in a 6 month trip while foreigners sticking with their twisted tongue even after a decade in the subcontinent be explained. 

Hey Howard! You are the true Indian man. Not Raj. Still henpecked under mommy’s thumb and walking the tight rope between her love and girlfriend’s is the status of majority of Indian men and you, ofcourse.

I am glad Penny is not a typical pretty bimbo standing like a mannequin to laugh at male leads jokes. She has managed to hold her own happy go lucky self  against a gang of extraordinary nerds. ‘Funny girl’ is not an oxymoron anymore. Penny, you are worth every penny that you extract from the show.

Leonard is the last ray of hope for an average man to frogleap from ‘single’  to ‘in a relationship’ category for real. But on those dark, lonely nights when I think of a hot and happening chick “actually” dating a caring, loving and a boring nerd  like him, I realize it’s a fiction afterall.   :|

  

 The post was supposed to declare my love for Sheldon but I still haven’t mentioned him enough. So here go my closing thoughts. The fluidity in his body language and dialogues is bombastic. His love for meemo, kitty song, science, discipline in food consumption are all innocently funny. So eccentric, yet he managed to score a girlfriend and then came up with a counter proposal for sex!. God _/\_(can’t resist, even though he seems to be an atheist)

He has his fun and never compromises with it. That’s the way to live. We meet many poopers, but rarely a Cooper. \m/ 

And Yes. That booming laughter of ours does start with The Big Bang. :)

Wrestlemania Shit

Watching the 'hell in a cell' match between Undertaker and Triple H set my spirits up and BP high, even more than exams.

The gist is that Undertaker stretched his unbeaten record at wrestlemania to 20 by twisting every possible node in Triple H's body, while Shawn Michaels played a macho Tulsi Virani in the role of referee.  Everybody has a wrestler within and surely, even I felt like manifesting a few punches on mess food, overpriced junk, confused life et al. Or as they say, Wanted to send a few high- fives randomly. With a chair. Made of steel :D

Wrestlemania 28 surely stamped many ''how why when's'' over my head.  Will share some random observations/queries:

-          Undertaker uses which eyeliner dude! It stayed perfect even when he couldn’t. I need his fashion advice.

-          Ye dhaisau(250)  KN ke force se  jab kisiko ko maar padta hai na, to aadmi uthta nahi.. kood k khada ho jata hai. How!! # Even Sunny Deol is flabbergasted.

-          Triple H, why didn’t you tie your hair before the fight. Your mommy taught you nothing it seems about how unkempt hair is a magnet for trouble. I hope u learnt your lesson this time.

-          Triple H again! Why did not you kick at the only covered part of your opponent, instead of getting a hammer which you couldn’t even lift up half of the time.

-          Advice to Shawn Michaels: Since you are retired now and displayed immense emotional quotient, poise and integrity while getting your pet ass kicked, I say dye your silky blond hair black and meet Ms. Ekta Kapoor asap.

Apparently, all the fights are fake with cuts made with hidden razors and hammer is  made of sponge, chair of some soft wood and sound is amplified by booming speakers. Whatever it is, it surely managed to bring back ‘now funny then painful’ childhood memories  when I used to choke slam(rarely) while I got jack hammered, Tombstone piledrivered and danced to the tunes of sweet chin music, as WWF transited to WWE ;)  

-           

trolling shit

To all my sporty, kickass friends who did not pick up a brawl in response to my teasing harmless troll. 

Randomly,

Most of the times,

I love it when everything rhymes :P

Academic shit

It’s a sweet bitter feeling knowing that it’s the last academic semester of college and there are so many things to write about. Being a serious and a seriously good student, let me start with academics as of now :D

Certain heart wrenching courses that I had to compulsorily study almost changed my perspective about life.

I am compiling a list of the few classic ones:

1.    Workshop Practices:

What it tried to teach: A 4 unit course aimed to give a glimpse into the factory working conditions. We obviously should not be clueless about something that our hyper nerd fellows dream of owning at the age of 25 or a place where some of us may have to work in without choice.

What I learnt: Screwed up gender ratio is a blessing in disguise.

I skipped the theory part then, I will skip it now. Practical classes are where I learnt the most. Swing your hair left, swing your hair right, smile, make an innocent puppy face and some male angel will bend over to finish your bending, shaping, fitting, chiseling etc . on a rough day.

On lucky days, an already ‘ worked-on hard by a superman’ work piece will present itself before you. Grab it up or sweat it out. It is all madame’s choice.

2.    Biology :

             

What it tried to teach: Beautiful theory behind the evolution of birds, plants, animals and the real animals (us).

 

What I realized: Choosing engineering over ‘life’ was not a bad decision.

Thank god I chose maths over biology as my main subject in 11^th even though I highly doubt the funda of “ engineering kar lo, bada scope hai” and had to slog like a donkey to qualify. Doing this course removed all the ‘ what-ifs’ in my head about my decision to break up with the functioning of  living things. 1 wrong move and I would have been yawning away to death because in medical line, apparently, you got to attend classes and “actually study” even to squeeze in into the next semester which is so unlike our engineering.

 3.    Principles of management(POM):      

What is tried to teach: Management.

   

What I learnt: Before I could learn how  to manage my wardrobe, shoes, assignments or some company, I got a good lesson on memory management. Optimum way to mug up the points to trick the teacher into throwing away marks was everybody’s secret art.

Those exam day mornings when the brain automatically used to reset itself after getting jam packed a night before still gives  sweet shivers.  

 4.  Electrical Sciences 2:

What it tried to teach: Motor, Generator something something.

What I realized: Thank god this course was off the list in 1^st year, else I wouldn’t have been an engineer probably, it being a trailer to the dreaded electrical engineering. The course did manage to dampen my brain frequency. Every nook and crany gave up trying to fiddle with the field and armature currents. I did survive but not with my head held very high exactly because mostly it was resting in my hands, all thanks to ES2.

5.Microelectronics:

What it tried to teach: It is an extremely positive course that talks only about Gain, Gain and more Gain.

What I got: Pain, Pain and more Pain.

 The positivity of the course was radiated in the question paper and answer sheets both. We always calculated either the wrong “gain”( norm) or the right “gain”(rare).  Negative terms like losses were usually ignored.

 Micro may have managed to give headache at macro level to the mortals but I know for sure that even if I have to wrestle with the great Khali, I can still survive because I have been there, done that.

It’s been one hell of a curriculum and looking back, all courses except the ongoing ones sound funny now. Learnt a lot in every sense.
Thanks to electronics labs, i learnt the importance of staying "Grounded" and the consequences otherwise. :-| :P

on a random note,

One and probably the only enlightening fact that I still remember from renewable energy: A cow shits out 14 kgs of poop per day!!! Holy crap!

   

 “Exams are many; Marks very few.

  Cheers to us who faced it all,

  Every mirror sees a survivor in YOU."

~To Us~

Photoshop shit

I have been dabbling in photoshop for a while now and
 am finally posting my long cherished dream T Shirt design for  Department of Mathematics.
You my friend, have haunted me for months...
though in a different color, font etc etc.  :P
You are not perfect because i am a noob right now, but  am ok with the way you have turned out. :)

This one is for all the \m/athematical rajnikant fans. :)